• abnegation (noun) ab-ni-ˈgā-shən: restraint or denial of desire or self-interest

Usage: “Yeah, well,” I say, “I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be.” Veronica Roth, Divergent

Origin: Middle English abnegacioun, from Late Latin abnegātiōn-, abnegātiō, from Latin abnegāre “to refute, decline, deny”
 
First Known Use: 14th century

• amity (noun) a-mə-tē: friendship and goodwill, especially as characterized by mutual acceptance and tolerance of potentially antagonistic standpoints or aims; friendly relations between large groups

Usage: “The Amity are talking, laughing, smiling, pulling food from their pockets, and passing it around.” Veronica Roth, Allegiant

Origin: Middle English amite, from Middle French amité, amitié, from Medieval Latin amicitas, from Latin amicus friend, friendly + -itas -ity; akin to Latin amare to love

First Known Use: 15th century

• candor (noun) ˈkan-dər: unreserved, honest, or sincere expression

Usage: “Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law.” Veronica Roth, Divergent

Origin: French and Latin; French candeur, from Latin candor, from candēre to shine, be white

First Known Use: 14th century

•  dauntless (adjective) dȯntlə̇s: marked by courageous resolution: incapable of being daunted, intimidated, or subdued

Usage: “It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free.” Veronica Roth, Insurgent

Origin: Middle English daunten (also, to tame), from Old French danter, alteration (probably influenced by Old French dangier power, jurisdiction) of donter, from Latin domitare to tame, from domitus, past participle of domare to tame, conquer (+ less)

First Known Use: 1588

• erudite (adjective) ˈer-e-ˌdīt: concerned with unduly specialized information : pedantic, bookish; characterized by a love of knowledge for its own sake : devoted to the pursuit of learning 

Usage: “Grabbing hold of the facts in the midst of shock is very Erudite of him.” Veronica Roth, Insurgent

Origin: Middle English erudit, from Latin eruditus: learned, skilled, experienced; from past participle of erudire to polish, instruct; from e- + rudis rude, unpolished, unskilled, ignorant

First Known Use: 15th century

• divergent (adjective) dīˈvərjənt: differing from each other or from a standard

Usage: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” Veronica Roth, Divergent 

Origin: Medieval Latin divergent-, divergens, present participle of divergere

First Known Use: 1696

• insurgent (noun) ˈ ə̇nˈsərjən(t): a person who rises in revolt against an established government; a rebel not recognized as a belligerent

Usage: “‘Insurgent,’ he says. ‘Noun. A person who acts in opposition to the established authority, who is not necessarily regarded as a belligerent.’” Veronica Roth, Insurgent

Origin: Latin insurgent-, insurgens, present participle of insurgere to rise up, insurge

First Known Use: 1765

• allegiant (adjective) ə-ˈlē-jənt: giving allegiance; fidelity by a subject or citizen to a sovereign or government; devotion or loyalty to a person, group, or cause

Usage: “They released some kind of manifesto this morning. They call themselves Allegiant … because they’re allied with the original purpose of our city.” Veronica Roth, Allegiant

Origin: allegiance + -ant; Middle English aligeaunce, from Anglo-French allegeance, alteration of ligeance, from lige liege

First Known Use: 1613

The gender pay gap is a long-debated affliction of women’s rights. While some discredit any discrepancy altogether, many studies cite women not asking for more money as a contributing culprit to this inequality. Glamour magazine conducted a 2014 Salary Survey in their September issue and noted, "The biggest mistake I see women making is simply not asking.” Reasons for this hesitancy in negotiating starting salaries and asking for raises vary from not wanting to appear too aggressive to not having high enough expectations. Many lists dispense advice on combating this trend, but the simplest solution is just to ask for what you want. Important as this lesson is in the workplace, one can apply the same logic to much more than salaries. For instance, while celebrating my birthday this weekend, I had 3 perfect opportunities to successfully employ this practice. 

To start things off, Mr. O&O and I had the pleasure of attending our ballroom dance studio’s pirate-themed graduation celebration on Friday night. Wow! That was a mouthful; let’s stop and break that sentence down. 

• Since the beginning of the year, Mr. O&O and I have been taking ballroom dance lessons at a studio in Fishers called Five Star. (If you are interested in lessons, let me know! I can get you 3 for $25.)
• There are various levels of ballroom dancing, and our studio gives exams to allow students to graduate from one level to the next. 
• Due to the fact that graduation fell on National Talk Like a Pirate Day, we all celebrated and dressed accordingly (and placed in the top 6 during the costume contest, I might add). Back on track? Aye! 

Leading up to this celebration, we were starting to feel the financial strains from our weekly lessons and hadn’t been progressing as quickly as we had hoped. We had heard mentions of these dance exams, but no one had directly addressed them with us. In the spirit of the pay-gap advice, we took the initiative to schedule a meeting with the studio manager and simply asked what we could do to speed up our progression. The next week our teacher started teaching to the test and the following week we tested out (aced it!). We now know to just ask when we feel ready to test out, and we are already prepping for our next test!

For birthday weekend day #2, I participated in an event with a theme that was an absolutely perfect fit for celebrating my birth in particular – a charitable literary pub crawl! The sponsoring organization, Indy Reads, offers free literacy tutoring around the community. It is dear to my heart not only for its general mission, but also because I volunteer with the family literacy program to teach parents how to inculcate positive reading habits in their kids. The crawl took place in Fountain Square, and each bar offered literary-themed drink specials, including an “Are you there God? It’s me, Margarita.” As if literacy charity and book cocktails weren’t enough, the night also featured a literary-themed costume contest. This was, of course, right up my alley, and I took the opportunity to showcase the quintessential Overdressed & Overeducated costume: Holly Golightly. Clad as one of the classiest ladies in all of literature (yes, Breakfast at Tiffany’s was a book first!), Mr. O&O and I met up with some book club gals and hit the town!

The night started off with a chat from local author, Mike Mullin, showcasing his new book Ashfall and ended with the world’s longest raffle. There must have been at least 75 separate items they raffled off to a room of 200+ people with only 50 chairs in what felt like 90 degree heat. It was a perfect storm. Mr. O&O was ready to skip out about halfway through, and he did end up leaving early to retrieve the car. But a thread of luck and desire kept me hanging on until the last trio of prizes, which were 3 separate reading-themed signs, my personal favorite being a light blue “Keep Calm and Read a Book” sign featuring a reading girl at the top. I wiped my brow and perked my ears for these last three items, but to no avail. She never called my numbers. Sad and dejected, I packed up my Holly accessories and headed to the door. On the way out, I happened to spot the guy who did win the wooden sign for which I had been hoping, and I started thinking, “What the heck is he going to do with this girly sign?” So I put on my best negotiating face, walked up to this winner, and asked, “Do you really want that sign?” Without hesitation he replies, “Nah. Do you want it?” YES!! Cheers, streamers, bells, and whistles are going off in my head. I thanked the guy profusely and gave him a hug for good measure, then off I skipped to the car to proudly show my husband our newest family heirloom! And I didn’t even have to make the case that it was my birthday. All I had to do was ask! Lesson learned!

As a side note and shout-out to one of my awesome book club gals who pub-crawled along with me, she presented me with the best homemade bookmark ever for my birthday present that night. Thanks, Katniss!

For the final day of my celebratory weekend and my actual birthday, sweet Mr. O&O whipped up some mostly-from-scratch pumpkin pancakes and brought them to me for my traditional birthday breakfast in bed. We spent the day relaxing at home and then headed off to our last celebration, a special dance event at the Indiana Roof Ballroom. This event is something that dance studios all over the state participate in once every few months as a dressy night out for all of their students. A live band greeted us in our formal attire and gave us the perfect chance to put all of our dance skills to good use.    

Once we arrived, our dance instructors handed each dancer a dance card (like from the 19th century!) and tasked us with filling in a partner for each of the 20 dances. This is where my third “just ask” lesson came into play, albeit forcefully. Up to this point, I had always waited for the men to ask me to dance. However, I still had several blanks on my dance card after everyone who usually asks me had asked, so I left my comfort zone and asked some men to dance with me! I did successfully fill out my dance card, and by the end of the night, I was so glad I danced with so many new people! I learned a lot of different moves and made several new friends. So concluded my 27th birthday: overdressed, overeducated, and on my way to overpaid.

In the words of Andy Williams, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” No, Christmas did not come early. And it is not even my birthday (yet). But it is the month in which I get to experience the literary equivalent of scoring a Kate Spade clutch for 93% off: It is my month to host book club.

The wait I endure each year for this beautiful opportunity takes about as long as growing a baby does, but with less heartburn. Alas, the waiting is over, and the timing couldn't be more perfect, because I have just discovered the ideal place to host: Books & Brews. 

This unassuming pub is tucked away in a North-side strip mall at 96th & Bash and specializes in (aside from the obvious) full calendars and local eats. With the help of a successful Kickstarter campaign, husband and wife owners serve up home-brewed beverages amidst live music, used books, and tabletop games. Boasting a book club of its own, Books & Brews caters Monday nights to local book lovers with large tables and literary discussions. 

The venue is split into two sections: bookstore in the front; pub in the back. The used books are ripe for browsing, and if you buy your reading material there, local adult- and family-literacy organization Indy Reads receives 10% of the proceeds. The pub section has more of a warehouse-like atmosphere that could stand to add some warm tablecloths and wall decor, but they have clearly perfected their beers. The At the Mountains of Maltness pilsner went down velvety smooth and paired perfectly with a sweet and salty pile of Broad Ripple Chip Co. potato crisps. Their menu also offers a variety of literature inspired small plates, ranging from a Fair Oaks Farm Gouda and Hamlet sandwich to a kid-friendly Very Hungry Caterpillar PB&J.  

So yes, my book club reads more than wine labels; we read beer labels too.

Which one sounds best to you, either by experience or just by the summaries? Vote for your favorite by commenting below and I’ll tally the votes on Friday and reveal the winner!