Love31: A 31-Day Journey of Loving Your Husband Well

I love celebrating love, and what better day to do so than February 14th? It is typically cold and miserable out, so it is the perfect time of year to snuggle up with your hunny and celebrate your relationship. That is why I chose this time of year to embark on a surprise journey of loving Mr. O&O above and beyond the norm. I call this journey Love31. The idea is to create a list of actions based on Proverbs 31 to love your husband well and complete it over 31 consecutive days. The catch is to do it without telling your spouse! 

But what fun is a surprise journey if you are travelling alone? After participating in a similar activity last year under the guidance of my inspiring friend Liz, I replicated her idea with a new group of about 15 women this year, and what a joy it has been! We began with a girl’s night of coffee and dessert at my place to brainstorm ideas. I handed out a copy of Proverbs 31 to each attendee, and together we analyzed and attempted to transfer this guidance from thousands of years ago into modern-day actions. Each woman’s intended actions varied a bit, but the result was a 31-item to-do list of ways to love our husbands. 

To document our journey, I created a Facebook group for all the participating wives. Here we posted pictures and anecdotes of our successes and goof-ups, as well as encouraging words to one another along the way. The ways these women loved their husbands were so inspiring! 

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Nailed it! The husband recipient didn't even know the bacon was supposed to be a heart :(

Burnt cookies - whoops!

Admittedly, there were a few failures, but we spurred each other on as a group by sharing new ideas, giving thanks for inspiring posts, and encouraging one another when negative thoughts crept in. Plus, there were some unexpected results: Husbands left sweet notes, completed projects without being nagged, and apologized. And wives created new weekly habits! 

Note from a husband to a wife in response to all her love!

A Love31 journey is doable any time of the year, but I planned this one especially for a love-inspired holiday: I hosted the coffee kickoff on January 14th, and we started day 1 of the 31-day challenge the very next day, January 15. (Quick math break…) The result? Day 31 was none other than St. Valentine’s Day! To end the journey with a bang, I threw a big reveal party (disguised as a couples Valentine’s Day party) on February 14th. All of the women wore their husbands’ favorite outfit and contributed a dish of their husbands’ favorite food. I played up the “love” theme with a Valentine’s Day photo booth and table topics featuring some of the 36 questions from the New York Times article, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.” The couples mingled and ate, but still no man picked up on the secret purpose of the night. Finally, just before dessert, the most introverted girl in the group (and therefore least likely) quieted everyone and raised her glass to toast her husband, giving a short speech about how much she loves him. Before he could recover from his surprise, another woman raised her glass to toast her husband, followed by another and another, until all the wives had toasted. I then revealed what we had been up to for the past month and invited everyone to see what we had done. Beforehand, I had secretly loaded all of the pictures from the group Facebook page onto a shared photo stream, so everyone was able to smile and laugh along as we recounted our journeys. 

Table setting with centerpiece flowers that were a Valentine's Day present from Mr. O&O!

Photo booth: stick-props and semi-homemade banner from Michaels on sale

Guest book was a Valentine's Day present from Mama O&O and matches were favors left over from our wedding

Pinterest-inspired Valentine's Day banner made of hearts-suited playing cards

Wore my wedding shoes as part of Mr. O&O's favorite outfit

Not only was this a fun way to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but it was also an excellent reminder of the benefits of intentionally nurturing your marriage, and you don’t need a holiday to work on that! We all grew in our ability to love and respect our husbands unconditionally, particularly because many of the actions we took weren’t reciprocated or even acknowledged until last night! But in spite of that, many of the women (and even some of the men!) realized and admitted they got along extraordinarily well with their spouses and deepened their relationships over the past 31 days. One of the husbands actually picked up on the timeframe, which happened to coincide with them getting a new puppy, and had been (erroneously) attributing his wife’s loving actions to her newfound puppy-motherhood!

So, does Love31 sound like a fun experiment? Get together with a few girlfriends and try it out yourself, or just try it on your own if you aren’t the gregarious type. If you have any questions about it or need any encouragement, leave me a note and I’d be happy to chat more about it with you!

Lots of love, 
Victoria